An African Wedding: Part 1

There’s something about growing up in Africa that seeps into the spirit and keeps one yearning for more. It’s something to do with the intensity of the experiences that one can have in this place, like the one I had recently when I attended the traditional wedding of my friend Themba Mchunu, a Zulu man from KwaZulu Natal, and his sweetheart Keke Tsebe, who was born and raised in Botswana. The moment I received the invitation, there was no doubt in my mind that I would be going to Botswana to celebrate their happy day with them.

I flew into Gabarone on the eve of the wedding, filled with anticipation and curiosity of what lay ahead. I was met by my friend Petra, who was en route from Namibia to her home in the Limpopo Province of South Africa. She too had been included in the invitation. As my plane had been delayed a couple of hours, the sun was beginning to set as we left the busy streets and crowded shopping malls of Gabarone and headed towards Lobatse, following Keke’s cousin, Kayce, who had offered to show us the way.

One thing I had forgotten from my years of living in Botswana in the 1970’s is the hazard of domestic animals on the road. There are very few fences, and donkeys, goats and cattle graze the verdant verges oblivious of the traffic zooming by. With darkness descending and only the vaguest outlines visible of the trees and rocky kopjies in the veldt beyond, we slowly followed the red hazard lights of the cars ahead of us, straining our eyes in the lookout for donkeys sleeping in the road. After travelling for an hour or so, we reached the Digawane village, and pulled into the homestead of Keke’s mother, Janet Tsebe, where we were warmly greeted and invited to join the elders and relatives who were seated in the garden. After being fed a delicious meal, we sat outside in the balmy air, under an inky star studded sky, chatting to the family. Towards midnight, we were taken to our lodgings for the night and by the time we had settled in, I was exhausted and more than ready to sleep.

It seemed,however, that no sooner had I closed my eyes, my alarm was beeping me awake. It was 4.30am and we had to get up and get dressed for the Lobola ceremony, to which we had been invited. I felt enormously honoured to have been included in what is normally a family affair, and even more touched when Petra and I were invited to join Themba’s family delegation of women, and take part in the proceedings. This act of inclusion set the scene for the day. We were drawn into the bosom of the family, enveloped in love and acceptance from the moment the day began. Soon after we arrived, we women seated ourselves on mats outside the house, separate from the men who were having their own lobola discussions at the other side of the garden. The women of Keke’s family sat to one side, and welcomed the women of Themba’s family, who sat opposite them.

The women’s lobola meeting opened with prayer

Themba’s mother, Khanyi, listens as Rachel translates Keke’s family greeting into Zulu

Mama Khanye (Themba’s mum) and Rachel, who is a friend of Janet, Keke’s mum

The arrival of gifts from Themba’s family

Waiting for the arrival of the gifts, Themba’s relatives and I relax

Mama Khanyi offers her gifts to Keke’s family

Keke’s aunts place the gifts before her mother, seated extreme right

…and the gifts are accepted

Keke’s mum, Janet, graciously receives the gifts

Meanwhile, the men were deep in discussion…

Keke, the bride, makes her first appearance and greets her new family

Khanyi, Keke and Mamalome Phenyo Mekgwe

Keke gives her new sister-in-law, Sthembile, a hug

Songs of praise

Keke’s family performs a celebratory dance

Themba makes his first appearance and greets his mother, Khanyi

Keke and Themba share a tender moment together

Keke’s malume (uncle) Emmanuel Mekgwe and his wife, Mme Phenyo Mekgwe

Emmanuel receives a gift of a new coat

At this point, we had breakfast and the room filled with joyous song and dance.

Khanyi and Petra

Without us noticing, Themba had slipped away, only to reappear with his supporting men…

Themba, the Zulu, and his men announce their arrival in song and dance

Themba works up the crowd!

His mum joins in…

As does his sister, Sthembile

Entering the homestead gates

Themba announces his arrival!

Themba and his family

It had been an exciting morning. The scene had been set, the lobola paid and we all dispersed to prepare ourselves for the second part of the wedding….

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A Heritage Day to Remember

Heritage Day, ( 24th September) is a public holiday in South Africa and in cities and towns around the country many people take the opportunity to come together, wearing their finest traditional outfits, to celebrate their heritage. From all the images in the press, it is a very colourful affair, Africa being renowned for its magnificent traditional dress.

This year I had no plans, in fact, it’s a holiday for which I never have any plans, largely due to the fact that I’m not quite sure which heritage I am supposed to be celebrating. South Africa is a complex society, and my place in it, a little ambiguous. I am a third generation white Zimbabwean, who has spent ten years living in Botswana and the larger part of my life settled as a citizen in South Africa. I am of European descent, with my ancestry hailing back to the Orkney Isles and United Kingdom. There were Vikings and Scottish kings in the mix, as well as several Rhodesian/Zimbabwe farmers. So what heritage should I celebrate? In my own private way, through my art and through my teaching, I celebrate them all, and in the mix of it I emerge as the person I am today.

So, when my good friend Themba Mchunu, a final year Masters Drama student at Rhodes University contacted me to see if I would be at home on this auspicious day, I was delighted to hear that he planned to visit me. I decided to bake some chocolate cakes to celebrate his visit.

From posts on his Facebook page, I had deduced that he and the cast of Impethuko would be busy most of the day, as they were putting on a special Heritage Day performance at the community hall in Rini, Grahamstown East.

A little later than expected, I heard hooting at the front gate, and guessing it must be him, went out to greet my guest…. only to see that it wasn’t just Themba, but he and the entire cast who had come to pay me a visit! Arms filled with refreshments and buns, they filed into my lounge and we launched into a festive and hilarious evening!!!

We ate, drank, laughed and talked and I learned more about their history and involvement with the group. They explored my extensive garden and then came into the studio to view my work, which for most of my guests, was a completely new experience.

The cast of Impethuku gather round my studio table to view my artwork

After giving them some background information and explaining the meaning of my artworks, we entered into an interesting, animated discussion that spontaneously developed into a playful, high energy performance, with my artworks being commandeered as the costumes and the props. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. The group’s playful antics just kept getting funnier and funnier, ending with a theatrical exit from the studio.

Click on the images below and you will see what I mean…

Nombasa and Themba

Ayanda and Nombasa

Acceptance

Nombasa plays with my artwork ‘Nyimba’, which was inspired by the traditional Venda marriage basket

Zweli, intrigued by the artwork ‘Zimbabwe Ruins #2’

Lura

Themba, Ayanda and Nombasa

Themba takes a closer look at “Surrender”, a battle jacket worn by Ayanda

Themba and Ayanda

Themba and Ayanda clown around

Ace

The beautiful Zandi

‘Nyimba’ becomes a hat for Zola

Zola

Zola and Themba

Mat

Nombasa and Manezi, who had wrapped himself in “Viewpoints”

Zweli

Ace sketches a rhino

Zola, Ace and Rocky putting on a performance

Explaining how it’s done…

The artists

Rocky

Rocky and Themba

Me with my guests

Wearing a few of my many hats.

Zandi

The performers…

…in action…

…!

A Heritage Day to remember…!

The most moving part for me was listening to the group sing to me as they wound their way across the lawn and back into my lounge. There they continued to sing, with one of the group now pounding on my Djembe drum, all of them moving in time to the rhythm of their music. Then, still singing, down the stairs they went, bade me farewell and disappeared into the night.

Later, sitting alone and  looking out across the sleeping city, I reflected on the events of the day. I was completely overwhelmed by all that had happened, and couldn’t believe how something so special had come about so spontaneously. It was the best Heritage Day celebration that I could have asked for, and never in my wildest dreams could I have planned something so meaningful. I felt deeply honoured that this talented group of performers had shared so much with me and realized with that spine tingling delight, that this is why I love living in Africa. The unexpected is always just around the corner. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, but when it’s good, it can be absolutely amazing. It’s the adrenalin rush that keeps us living on this continent.

So thank you to Themba and his team for showing me that I do belong here and have been accepted. The memory of this day will live with me forever.